Letters from Kay and Kai

To: kaimatthews@ecmail.com
From: kaymatthews@ecmail.com

Dear Self,

It's been a while since I've written. I haven't been in the mood lately. I came over to the eleven year old computer on my cluttered desk and stared at the boot up screen for what felt like hours. It was probably minutes, but I have been feeling impatient as of late.

Who am I kidding? I've always been impatient.

I almost forgot my own email user name. How sad is that? But, seriously, it's been that long. I wonder what others would think of me if they knew I sent emails to myself because I have no one true to talk with. I mean, it's not like I don't have friends. I have plenty. But they are all so fake.

Just like me.

But I'm getting tired of pretending. And I think Emilia and Bridget are starting to notice, too.

Just today at school, the three of us were eating in the cafeteria when Gavin decided to grace us with his Godly presence. Em and Bridge were enraptured by the story he was telling us about how he beat up some kid who blinked wrong or breathed in his direction, Hell if I remember. I wasn't even listening.

And the girls definitely noticed.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Sincerely,

Myself

Kayla (Kay) Matthews

p.s. : Could I be any more of a loser?



To: kaymatthews@ecmail.com
From: kaimatthews@ecmail.com

Dear Kayla,

I think there has been some kind of mistake, for I am not Kayla Matthews. It seems our email usernames are only off by one letter, so I have received your intended email instead.

But, do not fret!

People always tell me that I should become a therapist because of my superb advice-giving abilities. Okay, that might be a lie, but whatever!

First, you should have told Gavin to Shut-The-Fuck-Up, and then maybe punched him in the face to give him a taste of his own medicine. Or, better yet, send me his address so I can rough him up for you.

Second, your friends sound like they are privy to ass-kissing on a daily basis. Like they can't even think for themselves and just do whatever people think they should. Or they act and do whatever it takes to look perfect in the eyes of a bunch of spineless, cliché lackeys. Am I right?

AND third, you are NOT a loser.

Well, maybe just a little, but who am I to judge?

What you need to do is say "Fuck You" to your obnoxious, stuck-up friends and find someone else to eat lunch with.

By the way, what did your school serve for lunch that day? Because it seems you have forgotten to add in that important detail and it was greatly missed.

But, then again, maybe I'm just hungry.

ANYWAYYY,

Your next email better not sound so depressing or I might just have to come through the screen and give you a karate chop (I'm secretly a ninja) until you come to your senses and a smile appears.

Or something of that nature.

As my sensei always said, "When there is a sun to rise and set, there is still hope for you yet."

He may have been certifiably insane 90% of the time, but some of the shit that came out of his mouth was definitely quote worthy.

Sincerely,

Not Yourself

Kaiden (Kai) Matthews

p.s. : Could I be any more awesome???!!!